Last week, I met up with one of the wives/mom's at my church whom I consider to be my young mom here in San Diego. We don't meet up very often, but when we do, I'm always humbled and pointed to the truths of the word. Those times are greatly encouraging and absolutely refreshing. When she had asked how things have been since the breakup, I had shared with her the honest struggles and fears I have since I've dated. I let her know that (although there has been full reconciliation with both of the guys I had dated within the church) I felt like I won't ever be able to attract a guy because I couldn't meet the requirements and values that (I thought) all guys are looking for. I truly thought that my looks determined by future.
I had known for a while that I struggle with worldliness, especially when it comes to how I look, but it didn't occur to me until my "mom" pointed out that I'm basically asking to be pursued by the guys who care about worldly beauty if I continue to focus on those things. After she shared more with me on her marriage and how her husband never failed to make her feel beautiful (and not because of her looks), she told me that there truly are brothers who really look past outward appearances and the things that are fleeting. There are those who genuinely care about and value godly character. She also had to correct me that though I didn't feel beautiful, God perfectly created me and made me exactly the way I am. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And my focus needs to shift to what God finds pleasing in His eyes. She encouraged me to search through the word and really learn what beauty is, defined by God. It's only been a week, but I've already been reading and praying through the truths of beauty from the word and have found them to be both a rebuke and encouragement.
7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
-1 Samuel 16:7
9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire,10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. -1 Timothy 2:9-10
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, -1 Peter 3:3-5
Proverbs 31:10-31
13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well. -Psalm 139:13-14
“All of us, men and women, are affected by a world that idealizes youth and physical beauty. In such a world, it can feel as if our looks dictate our destiny. But that is not true. It is God who sovereignly rules over all men and women. He has determined our looks and our marital status.
We must shift our focus by fixing our trust not on our appearance or men’s expectations of beauty, but on God who directs our lives. Physical beauty does not have the last word and neither does a man’s ideal of beauty. God’s will determines all.”
~True Beauty, p. 88
To know that God sees me, a filthy and wretched sinner, as beautiful in His eyes brings me to tears. I cannot believe I have put in so much time, thought, and money in trying to have control over my own "beauty" when God has absolutely no care about those things. But because He created me in His image, I am wonderfully made. And who am I to question His view of beauty? Though it's very early on in this battle between me and the lies that the world tells me, I am so thankful we have the word to guard and equip me to readily fight against the world's standard of beauty. Learning to be thankful for the way that He made me... to refrain from complaining and to even thank God when I weigh myself on the scale and see a couple more pounds than the last time I weighted myself, and when I see a giant zit on my face (it's already so hard!). Trying to cut off the time I spend on getting ready in the mornings and exercise. Trusting that my looks do not determine my future. Praying for God to help me to focus on the character qualities that He desires in my life.
