This Saturday, July 5, 2014, was supposed to be the day that would have changed my life completely. Sometimes being reminded of the past still stings a little, but overall, the point I am in my life today reveals how faithful and good God is. And I am so thankful that the Lord knows best and has directed my life different from what I had envisioned a year ago. I'm thankful for that time of pain. God helped me to recognize how sinful I truly am and how utterly incapable I am without Christ. When I realized how wicked my heart was with anger and pride, I knew it wasn't going to be easy to put those off. I was helpless and needed to fully depend on God for strength.
A couple weeks ago, I visited the orthopedic due to a jammed pinky that doesn't seem to be correcting itself. At first I didn't think it was a big deal because I've jammed my thumbs multiple times before. But a month passed by, and my pinky was starting to look more crooked, tender, and I still felt some pain. When the doctor examined my finger, he said that I had torn a ligament, and the reason it's so swollen is the scar tissues that have built around the ligament are protecting my finger from further getting damaged. It's all part of the healing process. He said to be patient...give it at least a couple months, and if I let my body do its job and don't do anymore to damage it, my finger will be fully restored. I just need to make sure I'm careful with my pinky in the future. I was given a different kind of splint called Buddy Loops that wrap around both my pinky and ring finger, to prevent the pinky from being tampered with. As I'm typing with 8 fingers, I'm reminded of how much I am like my pinky.
I, like the pinky, am fairly fragile. And when I'm broken, I hurt...a lot. Weeks may pass, and I don't feel like I'm recovering or looking any better; in fact, I look worse than when I was initially broken. Though the process of healing is long, uncomfortable, and not looking pretty, I must patiently know that the stages of my recovering results in full restoration. I have proper instruction on how to recover, and I also have my buddies and members of the body to support me through the healing process.
In my perfect world, there would be no pain, no conflict, no false promises - but like I said earlier, the Lord knows best. He sovereignly places everything in my life (both pleasant and painful) for my own good. I am blessed that I'm not in the middle of emotional/spiritual healing (just physical, pinky healing), but I thought I'd share this post as a reminder in the future for me to to also see it as a blessing when I am broken. God graciously grows us through those times. Praise Him.
Hebrews 12:11
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields othe peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
