2012 New Year's Resolutions

Resolved:

1) To apply lotion on my skin every day. Cracked, cut, and dry skin has not been in my favor.

2) To keep all my receipts and to log them into my Budget 2012 file (2011 file has barely been touched). To remember that it honors God to be a good steward of His money, and to not be lazy about the discipline of sensibility (Titus 2:5)

3) Not to get emotionally affected at work. To see the difficulties when working with other coworkers as opportunities to glorify God. To not have thoughts of self-pity, but to learn from my mistakes & be an excellent worker (Philippians 1:9-10).

4) Not to complain about the way I look. To be thankful that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God (Psalm 139:14; Genesis 1:27). If I see photos or pass by women that I think are prettier, thinner, more fit than me, rather than having jealous thoughts & a discontent heart, I will pray that God gives me strength to not compare myself with them & to thank God that He created those women in that way and to, again, be thankful that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God (Psalm 139:14; Genesis 1:27).

5) To keep the church, those that I love, and those that are difficult to love in my prayers more consistently. Rather than dwelling on untrue thoughts, the what-ifs, the possibilities, spend my times driving in the car, walking to a certain destination, exercising, staring at the wall, doing nothing at work, in prayer (Philippians 4:8; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

6) To be in prayer for the type of spouse God wants me to be. During the seasons when I either grow weary of my singleness or get frustrated about the occasional lameness of boys, rather than dwelling so much on the “perfect” husband I should be looking for, I will work on the areas that I fall short in to be a helper fit for someone, Lord willing (1 Peter 3:1-6).

7) To follow the Outreach Bible New Testament reading plan (New Testament in 6 months), while finishing up the Old Testament (currently on Isaiah).

This month has been full of crazies.
I apologize for the lack of posts. Sadly, I can't think of anything encouraging to say (which is why I created this blog in the first place).

I will use this week to think of some New Year's Resolutions, so expect a post next week.

disneyland with roomie

i sure missed these faces

celebrating Maddie's baek-il

lessthanthree

precious moments with this little one.

But Help Me

Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, “I do believe; help my unbelief.”
Mark 9:24

Thanksgiving {5 &6}

I am so bad at posting daily! Haha, I apologize for having to group my list of thanksgiving!

Thankful for...
{5} the little things we can enjoy on this earth. I've learned that I am unable to enjoy any of these things apart from God, so even the simplest perks in life should be something to praise God for (Ecclesiastes 2:24-26). I used to be a bookworm during my elementary school days, but once we were assigned to do summer reading in middle school, reading books became a huge turn-off. Since then, I never considered myself a fan of reading. This past summer, however, I started to pick up reading again when my younger sister recommended The Hunger Games to me. I got hooked. I stayed up past 2am, which I don't think has ever happened for reading-for-fun purposes, and finished the book within 2 days. Ever since then, I've been really curious about finding other good non-fiction to read. Currently am reading through Jane Eyre, and it's sooooo good so far! Usually the first few chapters of classic books bore me so much, I can't go past the first 20-30 pages. Jane Eyre keeps you engaged from the first page, at least for me! I hope to finish it during my Thanksgiving break, but I have a feeling I'm going to keep myself busy with hanging out with those I haven't seen in a while!

A few books I want to read/finish by next year:

• Idols of the Heart by Elyse Fitzpatrick (almost done)
  
• the 2nd & 3rd book to The Hunger Games series. (barely read the 2nd one, haven't touched the 3rd one)
• Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys (prequel to Bronte's Jane Eyre)
  
• Relationships: A Mess Worth Making by Tim Lane & Paul Tripp (heard a lot of good things about this book)
• The Harry Potter series. Ohmygosh, should I do it? I've only read the first one (back when it first came out) and have failed to finish the 2nd.
  

Music, as always, has been enjoyable for me. This past month I've been listening to:

• The Christmas Song (Nat King Cole) Radio on Pandora
• Feist's Let it Die album
• Sara Bareilles' acoustic covers on youtube. I can listen to her cover of Yellow over and over again.
• Page CXVI's songs on soundcloud.
  
• Future of Forestry. all of it.
• A Virgin's Lullaby by The Nativity Voices (on repeat to practice for church's acapella group!)

AND

{6} the gospel. There's no guarantee in non-believers forgiving us if we have wronged them. I have wronged God so much more. But the new mercies that come from God is what gives us so much hope. I am so thankful that God, holy and majestic, would cleanse us of all our sins, and see us filthy, wretched sinners, as righteous while also giving us eternal life with Him.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ²⁶that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.^{[a]
Ephesians 5:25-27}

^{Ohmygoodness, how amazingAmazingAMAZING is that passage?! It is unfathomable to me that Christ sees us as His perfect bride. Thankful. So, so thankful.}

Thanksgiving {3 & 4}

Thankful for...
(this is a shout out to the ladies in my life)
{3} all the amazing women who have been bearing with my burdens, mourning while I mourn, and rejoicing when I rejoice these past couple of months. It's been a tough period of time, and God did not have to provide girlfriends to help me through it. I am so undeserving of the love that you gals extend to me, but your guys' friendship, prayers, and checkups on me have been such an encouragement. You all know who you are, and I love you all.

AND

{4} the recent mothers (pregnant or with newborns) at our church. I am in awe by their faithfulness to maintain a good relationship with the church. It's difficult to imagine how they balance serving their family while also doing their best to make it out to all the crazy church events we have. I am so encouraged even just by their presence to these events, even if they're unable to stay for the whole time. Most of the new mothers have made some kind of impact on my life, and I'm grateful that they still make time to minister to me. You ladies exemplify Titus 2 women to me. Thank you.

Thanksgiving {2}

Thankful for...
God's grace. I was originally scheduled to work the day after Thanksgiving because my boss always needs a person to watch the phones/front desk if he's at work. Knowing this since I first started working, I was pretty bummed for the first couple of months of working. I let my parents know how I only get Thanksgiving day off, and they told me it was best to just stay in San Diego b/c it wasn't worth driving to and back in 1 day. That was hard for me to hear because I haven't visited home since I started working. If I remember correctly, I probably complained about this to someone once a day. When November hit, rather than continuing to sulk over how I can't be with my family for the holidays, I decided to make the most of my time in San Diego and create opportunities to serve others. I looked up tons of different holiday recipes to see what I could make for those who are also staying in San Diego. God was preparing my heart to be content. Funny how God works, because once I completely came to terms staying in SD, my boss told me this past Monday that I could get Black Friday off. I am undeserving, but I am one grateful person.

Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more
Romans 5:20

Thanksgiving {1}

Friends, be thankful!

There is so much to be praising God for.
Since Thanksgiving is only a week away, I will post one thing I'm thankful for per day until the actual holiday. My hope is to daily remember to give thanks to God, even after Thanksgiving.

Thankful for...
God's faithfulness. I actually looked at my past journal entries (2009) and some video logs I used to make (2010). Haha, it was so humbling to read through and watch, but I was able to see how much God's grown me since then. What a blessing it is to see God, who started a good work in me, continuing to perfect that good work until the day of Christ Jesus (Phil 1:6). =)

Family Secret Santa funnies

I created a Secret Santa questionnaire via email for my family members to fill out because we want to get our Christmas shopping done sooner than later. Here are so funny things my family members wrote when they filled it out. All quotes will remain anonymous:

if you could get tickets to anywhere (i.e. musicals, basketball game, football game, opera, concert, traveling, etc):

• Family member 1: no tickets. I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to be forced to go anywhere. If I want to go, I'll buy it on my own. It's my free choice to go.
• Family member 2: LA NFL football game (oh wait, there is no team in LA!), Dallas Cowboys football game (oh wait, I live in CA!)

practical things you could use:

• Family member 1: a mustang GT (2011) or mustang fastback (1967), Banana Republic gift card
• My response to Family member 1: LOL, a mustang GT is a practical thing you could use?!
• Family member 1's reply to me: Of course. It will get me from point A to point B, much faster than my current car.

all i want for christmas is/are:

• Family member 1: babysitting
• Family member 2's response to the babysitting email: I think no matter who gets you as a secret santa, I'm going to end up being the one who babysits anyways.

original question was, 3 things you want to do before you die, but a family member changed it to 4 things you want to do before you die. -___- way to change my questionnaire.

• Family member 1: Well, since we upgraded from "3" to "4" thing we want to do before we die, I would also like to work for Disney's art or be one of their imagineers (or work for the FBI)
• Note: Family member 1 already wrote 3 things prior to the response above. Family member 1 turned 4 things into 6 things (4. work for Disney art, 5. be one of their imagineers, 6. work for the FBI)
  

I love my strange family.

Like a Newborn Baby...

I can long for the pure milk of the word, because of this:

⁶ For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ For one will hardly die for a righteous man; ^[a]though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. ⁸ But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. ⁹ Much more then, having now been justified ^[b]by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him. ¹⁰ For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved ^[c]by His life. ¹¹ And not only this, ^[d]but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

Romans 5:6-11

My sins seem greater and greater as I get older, but the gospel just gets sweeter and sweeter.

be still, worry wart

am i like this girl?

i'm afraid i am.
guilty. very, very guilty.

since high school, friends would call me a worry wart. even at work, one of my coworkers mentioned that i freak out too much. this is a problem.

coming back from retreat on peacemaking, i realized that the root of the problem isn't the circumstances that cause me to worry. the real issue is that my heart treasures comfort/security and values the thoughts of man more than the thoughts of God. there are so many uncertainties about the future. sometimes, i grow very impatient, wanting God to tell me what everything is going to look like rather than having to wait.

how do i combat this, Lord?

Ah, the Lord answers.

³ Trust in the LORD, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
⁴ Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

⁵ Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him, and he will act.
⁶ He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday.

⁷ Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;

Psalm 37:3-7

Come Thou Fount

Come thou fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise His Name I'm fixed upon it
Name of God's redeeming love.

Hither to thy love has blessed me
Thou has brought me to this place
And I know thy hand will bring me
Safely home by thy good grace
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Bought me with His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Lord, I know my heart is prone to wander.
Daily remind me of the redemption that I have because of Christ.
May that draw me closer to love thee more.

veggie-dip pairings

Woohoo for lighthearted posts!
I like to think I'm giving my brain a rest when I blog posts like these.

I've been trying to incorporate more fruits and veggies into my daily meals because I noticed that chips & dark chocolate have been my go-to foods. Anyway, here are just a few vegetables I've been munching on the past few weeks, and I am still not sick of them! Sadly, I don't eat them by themselves, but pairing them with a good dip can't is better than not eating vegetables at all. :)

Pair No.1

celery sticks with...

TJ's sunflower butter!! [better than plain 'ol PB to me]

Pair No.2

baby carrots with...
TJ's original hummus!

Pair No.3

persian cucumbers with...
ssam jang!

I need to go search for some other good veggie-dip combinations.
Next vegetable adventure: how to make steamed vegetables that actually taste good.

Choosing to Be Joyful

Joy by PageCXVI

The lyrics of hymns are so profound. So full of good, simple, yet convicting truths. My appreciation for hymns didn't grow until last year. It was when I came across this band called Page CXVI that I started paying more attention to lyrics of hymns. Page CXVI takes the good 'ole hymns and reinvents the composition of the song to give it a modern feel, while still keeping the lyrics in its original form. I love what they've done. Listening to their works has helped me to be more mindful of the hymns that we sing every Sunday. One of my favorite times now during Sunday worship is the time the congregation has to sing a hymn. Our elder takes time to explain the history behind the song and will sometimes read a particular stanza to emphasize the character of God and how thankful we should be that God is like this.

The song, Joy, that I put up definitely has more of a somber melody. I read their blog to see why the song was composed this way. I'll let the artist explain it here:
http://blog.pagecxvi.com/post/683764188/joy

In the midst of the pain she went through and the loss she had, she still chose to be joyful. That is what is so amazing when believers go through trials. Though there is hurt, though there is pain, there is a greater hope. The hope and peace, which comes from the Savior. We can be confident that God intentionally put us in a difficult circumstance because He loves us. It was best for us. It was for our own good. And that is why the artist can still say that she has joy in her heart.

I was reminded of Philippians 3. As I've been meditating on this book for the past few weeks, I've been learning more that even if God were to take away everything that I love on this earth and allow me to suffer, I would be satisfied because all I have and need is Christ.

⁷But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ ⁹and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— ¹⁰ that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

shout out to...

my soul sista & her NOW fiance!
congratulations, megan & frank!
i wish i could have congratulated you guys in person, because i am genuinely excited for the two of you guys to finally get married =) WAHOOOOOOOOO

love,
Caro

p.s. please make a date trip to San Diego, and visit me. <3

He wills

"How does God’s grace meet you in your sufferings?":

"We can make the right answer sound old hat, but I guarantee this: God will surprise you. He will make you stop. You will struggle. He will bring you up short. You will hurt. He will take his time. You will grow in faith and in love. He will deeply delight you. You will find the process harder than you ever imagined – and better. Goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life. No matter how many times you’ve heard it, no matter how long you’ve known it, no matter how well you can say it, God’s answer will come to mean something better than you could ever imagine."

-David Powlison

God's will be done in my life.

best thing i ever ate (caro version)

if you know me well, i talk about food... A LOT.
because
food
is
so
good.
and God is sooooo good for making food taste delicious.
He seriously could have made all food taste horrible, or bland, or like nothing! but He didn't, and God, who has blessed us with taste buds and olfaction to smell food, ought to be praised for creating us in this way. no wonder we always pray before we eat. =)
the topic on food is definitely one that i use to break the ice. it is seriously a painful topic, however, when you're talking about the most delicious thing you've ever eaten and you're salivating over it, but the food that you're describing is not within reach. well, it's definitely going to be a difficult post to write because i guarantee i will start drooling over food as i'm typing. inspired by food network's the best thing i ever ate, here is my list of the best of's.

best breakfast i ever ate: cafe 21's shrimp corncakes

best sandwich i ever ate: langer's deli #19 or primanti brother's turkey sandwich w/fried egg

best burger i ever ate: hodad's bacon cheeseburger

best refreshing thing i ever ate: yuchun's chic naeng myun

best cheap food i ever ate: dino's chicken plate w/fries, corn tortillas, and coleslaw

best expensive thing i ever ate: the bazaar's beef cheeks

best fried thing i ever ate: tie between disneyland's corn dog and peterson's donuts' pink glazed, sprinkled donut

best out of state thing i ever ate: hot doug's the paul kelly w/the works

best food truck dish:border grill's green corn tamal

best thing i could eat for the rest of my life: mario's lomo saltado

best hole in the wall dish i ever ate: suchitlan's pupusas with their homemade slaw

best dessert i ever ate: ici's rosemary pine nut praline ice cream

i really don't know who reads this blog anymore, but if you are a reader, PLEASE send me your list, so that i could try other yummy eateries. =)

and to conclude, my mouth really did water when writing this post. i'm sorta feeling like my dog, sonny, right now.

a game to love

football is hands down the best sport to play and watch.
anyway, mission bowl season has just started, and i cannot wait to help the newer girls get pumped up and ready to play with aggression and drive. it's so cool to watch mild-mannered, gentle girls transform into fearless beasts out on the playing field.
this video totally gets me all excited to play. definitely ready to hit some girls to the glory of God.

snapshots as of late

couple of snapshots i took from my side job =)


these two never fail to put me in a better mood, no matter how sad i may be.


exploring different parts of san diego (donovans, dt la jolla)



old friends (including joo creeping in the back!), new friend =)

Weep & Rejoice

a quote by Spurgeon that a friend shared with me this week:

A Child of God is not expected to be stoic, for God’s grace takes away the heart of stone. When we endure trials, we feel the pain. Do not ask to be made hard and callous, for this is not how grace works. Grace gives us patience and submission, not stoicism. We feel, and we benefit by the feeling. There are some who will not cry when God chastens, and there are some who will not yield when God strikes. Do not be like them! Be content to have Job’s suffering heart. Feel the bitter spirit and the anguish of soul which racked that blessed patriarch.

My dear friend, when grief presses you to the dust, worship there! Remember David’s words, ‘Pour out your heart.’ But do not stop there; finish the quotation. ‘Pour out your heart before Him.’ Turn your heart upside down, empty it, and let every drop run out. ‘Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us’ (Psalm 62:8).

When you are bowed down beneath a heavy burden of sorrow, worship and adore God there. In full surrender to His divine will, say with Job ‘Though he slay me, yet will I trust him’. This worship sweetens sorrow and takes away its sting

putting on the makeup again
appetite is starting to come back
sleepless nights are turning into a few hours of undisturbed rest

“You shall have no other gods before me."
-Exodus 20:3

as much as i want things my way and as stubborn as i am to not let them go, i am no longer going to let God's glory be at stake. not letting anybody or anything take His rightful place.





today's a brand new day.

a simple yet perfect way to liven up my afternoon

(via gchat)
me: hi daddy! did you call me yesterday?

Daddy: Yes, just say hi to you.
me: okay

i'll call you after i finish work today

we can catch up

Daddy: love you! have a good afternoon. bye

in the cheeseball mood

brace yourselves, because this is definitely a cheesy post...

a couple of nights ago, my roommate and i had our disciplers over for dinner. after eating and chatting, we decided to watch the movie, My Sister's Keeper. not really sure if i was in love with the movie, but i was pretty impressed with the soundtrack.

in one of the scenes, Edwina Hayes' version of Feels Like Home was playing. the lyrics of the song immediately captured my attention, and if you know me well, i am TERRIBLE at paying attention to words in songs (i've gotten called out a bunch of times on the music i used to mindlessly listen to). anyway, it's such a simple love song, but i absolutely love it.

not sure when or if i'm going to get married, but if i do, as a gift, i'd want to sing this song for him on our wedding day. this is kind of a big deal for me, because though i may sing a lot on praise team or for special events, never in my life have i done a solo where someone else isn't there with me. i freak out of the thought of singing by myself. but if God chooses to provide a man that i will love for the rest of my life, i'd be willing to do something gutsy like this. i hope i don't chicken out...i guess since i'm publicly posting this, i'd be held accountable for what i said i'd do.

anyway, enjoy the song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym9wFydQFYc

better than i deserve

i regret not having posted as frequently as i wanted to, but it's always a challenge for me to know what to write in here. i realized it's hard to write a post without making it so self-centered. that's a huge reason why i got rid of facebook...everything i did on facebook was revolved around me, and made my "friends" (and also myself at times) believe that i'm doing better than i really am. there's no room to be my raw self on facebook... all pictures, status updates, and comments that i put up are written to give off the impression that things are going really well. that i'm at my best.

well, in all honesty, i'm definitely not at my best.
i'm constantly shown the provisions that God has graced me with, yet i fail to still be content with how things are, leading to so many frustrations and fears about the future. it is so common for me to question God like this psalmist (Psalm 77: 7-9):

"Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable?

Has His steadfast love forever ceased?

Are His promises at an end for all time?

Has God forgotten to be gracious?

Has His anger shut up His compassion?"

Thank goodness that the psalm doesn't end there. His word yet again has replaced the anxiety and troubles in my heart with peace. The reason I sometimes feel like God's goodness has somehow disappeared is because I have failed to remember and meditate on God's attributes. I still have my moments of uncertainties if I can fully trust God with all my heart, but He always somehow brings me back to the truths of His character when I'm most faithless.

"I will remember the deeds of the Lord;

yes, I will remember your wonders of old.

I will ponder all your work,

and meditate on your mighty deeds.

Your way, Oh God, is holy.

What God is great like our God?

You are the God who works wonders;

you have made known your might among the peoples.

You with your arm redeemed your people,

the children of Jacob and Joseph"

Psalm 77: 11-15

i assure you, when you read the rest of this psalm, you'll be so comforted that there is NO ONE like our God. how can i forget His faithfulness and steadfast love when there is so much evidence throughout Scripture? things may not be going the way i want them to go, but that doesn't change who God is. i may not be at my best, but i know that i am doing better than i deserve.

lately...

some things that have happened so far in 2011... a few trivial things, a few significant things, but all things that i want to remember:

• walked at my last graduation ever from UCSD from Warren College
  
• moved into a new apartment with best friend & 2 other dear friends
• adopted a dog that we named Sonny who has taught me the joys and realities of being a responsible caretaker
  
• got a full time job from Joseph Wong Design Associates thanks to a couple of my unnis who currently work there
  
• saw the perks and challenges in leading my first small group for Collegelife freshmen and sophomore gals, whom i've grown to love tremendously
• stepped down from College praise team and joined Sunday praise team, a ministry that has helped further my understanding of the importance of worshiping from the heart before focusing so much on performance.
• went on a Senior class cruise trip to Catalina & Ensenada. learned a lot about myself during my time there
• decided to be daring and got blunt bangs for the first time. was pretty happy with them, but will only be a once in a life kind of thing
  
• visited my baby sister in Pittsburgh, where she got to research at Carnegie Melon University for the summer. super proud of her & how she faced her fears of being independent for a long period of time
  
• found out that my sister is pregnant w/their first child ever...baby's due any moment now
• found out that my discipler is pregnant after a couple of years of challenges that she and her husband had to face
  
• found out that my senior year small group leader is pregnant w/their first child ever
• lots of pregnant people, i know...but it means a lot to me that God's blessing these particular people w/children =)
• found my new favorite place in san diego to chill, eat, and get some good reading done: Solana Beach!
  
• starting my own bridal hair & makeup business...currently in the making of business website and whatnot